The way I see it, there are two main radio stations I can be tuned into while painting or creating anything, the ego station and the station of unconditional love. It has taken a lot of paying attention to how my body feels while listening to each radio station. It's taken a lot of practicing keeping my nervous system calm when the ego station wants to take over. It's taken a lot of journalling the voices of each station
Ground control to Major Tom
"I need this to work out. I need more followers, more likes, more engagement, more notoriety, more people thinking I'm a genius. I need to be the authority on painting, I need this painting to be the next best thing the world has ever seen." These are thoughts I've mined from the archives of my ego's radio station. It is really easy to believe these thoughts. The mind makes stories so compelling, we believe them, and think we are our stories. You might even feel so identified with yours that reading that sentence makes you defensive or skeptical. I still identify with certain stories like guilt at having hurt someone, fear of missing out on certain life experiences, anger at someone who hurt someone else, etc. There's a difference between taking space from someone with love, and still harboring active resentment and pain towards them. In the first example, you know it's a story and you're playing your role until the proverbial director yells 'cut'. In the second, the reality of the experience feels so real that you forgot it's a story. When I watch a movie with a very compelling plot (like tenet, check it out) I get so sucked in, that the movie becomes my reality. I have to remind myself that I'm watching a movie many times. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The station of unconditional love
I love making paintings of my favorite wisdom quotes.
It allows me to meditate on the words by integrating them into my paintings
Nir dwando: not paying attention to the dual throng of grief & joy, pain & pleasure.
Nithyasathwastho: ever fixed on the quality of equanimity.
Nir Yogakshema: never being concerned with the earning of happiness and the maintenance of happiness. (I love this one)
Atmavan: ever blissful arising out of the awareness that your real self is an immortal soul connected with all. You can withstand death, remain unaffected by fame or shame, grief or joy and all the dualities of the world.
Comments