These are the moments of my art - training journey that feel relevant.
Whether you've been on an art journey or beginning now, read this according to your life.
What parts have you been learning to balance in each chapter of your life?
I majored in art at FSU and while I got my own studio in a warehouse surrounded by other art students, I was deeply frustrated by the question: What Should I Paint!? Art is communication of something. My professor wisely said, 'The world doesn't need another Van Gogh nor Monet. The world needs a Nadja.' I was 19-21 years old, and didn't know what was mine to communicate.
I felt the answer was to move to Israel, a land of rich, mystical wisdom. Like a sponge, I absorbed ancient wisdom from many teachers and squeezed it into 200+ paintings. I also taught art to my fellow mystical classmates. After 5 years, I returned to America still frustrated that I was still missing something: This time it was technique! I never properly learned anatomy, color theory, color temperature, nor the crucial importance of the value scale. I enrolled in an Atelier, a workshop that passes down techniques of the Masters like Michaelangelo, and Leonardo daVinci, and received the highest level training I'd ever had. I studied everything from anatomy to the pores of the paper I was drawing on.
Still, something was missing! I felt my inner spark-the flame that shone so brightly while I was in Israel was dimming. What now!? I was later realized how important it is to learn from an art teacher who is able to teach technique, while fully honoring your inner artist's innate genius, without inserting dogma. I left the Atelier and realized that in the midst of learning technique, I'd allowed my teacher's voice to become louder than my inner voice-who now desperately needed to be nursed back to health. I had internalized what my teacher thought was 'good art' and 'bad art' (He thought Van Gogh was bad art and that broke my heart.)
My inner artist child was so undernourished by too much rigid technique, I felt she was gasping for air.
I'm happy to report my technical training and my inner child have balanced out with a lot of devotion and practice.
I'm grateful to have the technical training that lives in my muscle memory. Now my inner child can play and create whatever she wants. Even though technical training nearly did me in, I love knowing the rules to know how to break them.
And still, something was missing! I went through a very expensive divorce and had to start taking Sales more seriously! As a full time artist for 16 years, I've learned so many things about generating income to allow me to keep doing what I love full time (I haven't had any serious jobs other than art since I waitressed and scooped ice cream in Highschool). Life and art materials cost money, and for the sake of a healthy nervous system, it's best to release from the grips of scarcity to release the inner child to do what she does best: lead from the heart's joy: her natural abundance. Finally, I play in the flow state where my art is resourced and can stay real & true. It can be a tricky balance so we will talk about it to make the unconscious conscious and create from abundance, freedom and transformation!
Thank you for joining my journey! You are already a part of it, just by witnessing me!
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